Garry Owen Dining Facility

This review could be considered international if it wasn’t on a US military base which is considered soveriegn territory thereby making it no more foreign then the Taco Bell around the corner. Coincidentally Taco Bell may actually be of higher quality and authenticity. This plethora of Mexican cuisine is cooked in an American dining facility located on a base in Iraq by sub-contracted Indian workers. I know it seems bizarre but let us remember that this food is reminiscent of an elementary school meal that would be traded in its entirety for the option to lick a Hostess cupcake wrapper.

Seen in the picture is the full assortment; chicken and beef enchiladas, quesadillas, mexican rice, refried beans, fajita chicken and steak, and burritos all ordered off the main line. The sauces were donated by CA Johns and are by far the highest quality items in the picture and all are highly recommended. I only apologize that the sauces had to lower their expectations and be used on such subpar food. There is also cornbread which may have actually been left over from 1985 which is just a guess since carbon dating was out of our labs price range. If served next week it would probably be titled hard tack and have better usage for an exploration voyage in the galley of a Mayflower reconstruction.

All delectable foods maintain the same general flavor with overpowering and bold tastes of cheese (shredded blend) and are best used as vessels to deliver a condiment or sauce as opossed to actually being a desired taste. The aftertaste is pleasant but the body does not agree with the palate and tends to want to reject the cuisine. Ensure a restroom (fully stocked with TP and air freshener) is nearby. Over all I give the variety of foods a plus but quantity is never a substitute for quality in my eyes so I will have to give any item a generous 0.5 cachacas out of 5. Personal recommendations are to skip the mainline all together and move to the sandwich bar.

Beverages are in abbundance however the only alcoholic choice is O’douls. If margaritas were offered it might make the meal more pleasant however they would probably be a heavy sweet and sour mix concoction that would only add to the stomach pains, discomfort, and flatulence that this meal delivers.

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2 Responses to “Garry Owen Dining Facility”

  1. Amy Says:

    What a great way to start my day by LMAO! I can’t wait for the guest speaker to share another of his brilliantly descriptive reviews of questionable legal food sources!

  2. Nick Says:

    as pictured above, I was not enamored by the food so much as I was enticed by the exploding flavors of CaJohns!!!

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